A View into Hypomania

Hi Universe,

I know you are reading.  I know you have insight.  I know you want to be supportive.  I know you love Christi, and would do anything for her.  You’ve been lurking, watching, trying to understand where this is coming from, where it leads.

Now we need your feedback.  If you love Christi, if you want to to support her, tell her what you see.  Tell her the beauty of what she is writing.  Tell her she won’t lose that inspiration, that beauty, if she seeks help, but if she doesn’t seek it she’s certain to lose that inspiration in time.  Tell her you see what I see.

Tell her you’ll be there for her no matter what.  Tell her she needs help.

 

Causes

The exact cause of bipolar disorder is unknown, but several factors seem to be involved in causing and triggering bipolar episodes:

  • Biological differences. People with bipolar disorder appear to have physical changes in their brains. The significance of these changes is still uncertain but may eventually help pinpoint causes.
  • Neurotransmitters. An imbalance in naturally occurring brain chemicals called neurotransmitters seems to play a significant role in bipolar disorder and other mood disorders.
  • Hormones. Imbalanced hormones may be involved in causing or triggering bipolar disorder.
  • Inherited traits. Bipolar disorder is more common in people who have a blood relative (such as a sibling or parent) with the condition. Researchers are trying to find genes that may be involved in causing bipolar disorder.
  • Environment. Stress, abuse, significant loss or other traumatic experiences may play a role in bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder is characterized by up-and-down episodes of mania and depression. During a manic phase, some patients can have a total break from reality.

But hypomania, which is also a symptom of the disorder, is a high-energy state in which a person feels exuberant but hasn’t lost his or her grip on reality. 

“Hypomania can be a pretty enjoyable state, really,” Dr. Bearden says. A person’s mood can be elevated, they may have a lot of energy and creativity, and they may experience euphoria. This is the “up” side of bipolar disorder that some people with the condition actually enjoy—while it lasts.

When they are in a manic phase, people with bipolar disorder can have an inflated self-esteem.

“They feel grandiose and don’t consider consequences; everything sounds good to them,” Dr. Malone says.

Two of the most common types of behavior that can result from this are spending sprees and unusual sexual behavior. “I have had a number of patients who have had affairs who never would have done that if they weren’t in a manic episode…during this episode they exhibited behavior that is not consistent with what they would do normally,” he says.

During a manic phase, they may not sleep enough—but still never feel tired.

Even with just a few hours of sleep each night, they may feel great and have lots of energy.

Dr. Bearden says staying on a regular sleep schedule is one of the first things she recommends for bipolar patients.

Manic phase of bipolar disorder
Signs and symptoms of the manic or hypomanic phase of bipolar disorder can include:

  • Euphoria [This has been a roller coast of excitement]
  • Inflated self-esteem
  • Poor judgment
  • Rapid or pressured speech [Feeling the need to explain everything so others can understand you, not allowing others to interject]
  • Racing thoughts [Jumping between ideas, reading between the lines, connecting any dots]
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Agitation or irritation [Anger at the suggestion that you need to talk to someone]
  • Increased physical activity [Exercise]
  • Risky behavior [Facing all your fears, willingness to open our private lives]
  • Spending sprees or unwise financial choices
  • Increased drive to perform or achieve goals [To write, to paint, to draw, to create]
  • Increased sex drive 
  • Decreased need for sleep [<5 hours most nights]
  • Easily distracted [Not remembering something we discussed at lunch, not hearing my responses at times]
  • Careless or dangerous use of drugs or alcohol
  • Frequent absences from work or school
  • Delusions or a break from reality (psychosis) – Symptoms of psychosis may include false but strongly held beliefs [What is N’s motive?  N is Ken.  In reality often there aren’t lines to read between]
  • Poor performance at work or school

When to see a doctor
If you have any symptoms of depression or mania, see your doctor or mental health provider. Bipolar disorder doesn’t get better on its own. Getting treatment from a mental health provider with experience in bipolar disorder can help you get your symptoms under control.

Many people with bipolar disorder don’t get the treatment they need. Despite the mood extremes, people with bipolar disorder often don’t recognize how much their emotional instability disrupts their lives and the lives of their loved ones. And if you’re like some people with bipolar disorder, you may enjoy the feelings of euphoria and cycles of being more productive. However, this euphoria is always followed by an emotional crash that can leave you depressed, worn out — and perhaps in financial, legal or relationship trouble.

References:

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20436786,00.html

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bipolar-disorder/DS00356

 

 

Two Points

Back in college, Christi and I took an IQ test.  We both did very well, but I scored two points more (for the record, I believe the scores were 146 and 148, respectively).  For years afterwards, whenever the subject of intelligence came up, I always teased her about how I was smarter.

But the truth is, Christi’s much smarter than me.  She is more self-aware, more empathetic, more socially skilled, and arguably more motivated than I.  Our IQ may be similar, but I’ve come to realize that her EQ, her Emotional Intelligence Quota, is far and beyond mine.  And until recently, I never fully realized just how sexy grey matter really is.

You Complete Me

I am strategy, logic, reason. I am literal, focused, strong. I am stubborn, unwavering. I am success, ambition, determination. I am visual. I am music. I am yours.

You are psychology, literature, art, beauty, passion, fun. You are positivity, inspiration, creativity. You are dedication, devotion, strength, comfort, and undying passion. You are a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle that only I can assemble.

You are smart, insightful, and beautiful. Without you, I would leave but a geoff upon this world. Without me, you are wonderful, yet incomplete. With you, we are the world, complete.

 

How you are nearly perfect

I love your proportions.  I used to like taller girls, it’s true.  At least, I thought I did.  Perhaps I’ve changed.  Or perhaps I grew up with the wrong role model.  I didn’t used to like coffee.  I used to find beer an acquired taste.  Yet now I start every day off with a cup of joe and frequently cap a dinner off with a strong, dark beer.  And now, I love standing behind you and reaching my arms around you, resting my chin on your shoulder, kissing your neck.  Or curling up behind you in bed, and finding our bodies perfectly matched.

I love your hair.  I love how it flows.  If it was longer, I would make you put it up, just to be able to see and kiss your neck, to imagine what it would be like if you cut it.

I love your skin.  It’s soft.  It’s smooth.  I look at pictures of you 10 years ago and I see the same beautiful face I see now.  A face with beautiful eyes, luscious lips, and a fantastic smile.

I love your body, your ass, your thighs, your B-cup breasts. I love how you are not some thin stick of a model, but a beautiful, curvaceous MILF.

You carried our children.  Grew them.  Bore them.  Nursed them.  Your pregnant body was sexy to me.  Not just sexy, but hot, erotic.  Your dedication to lose the few remaining pounds of baby weight inspires me.  Watching you do it excites me.  Yoga pants have never been sexier on anyone.

For a time I resented you not wanting me to have fun on my own.  Then I accepted it, and grew closer to you.  Now you want to push me back out onto the world.  I love you about that.

You like weird, sometimes long and boring movies. You insist we watch them, then promptly fall asleep.  I stay up to watch so I can tell you about them.  So I can try to understand what you see in them.  So I can try to truly understand you.

I love your energy, enthusiasm, optimism.

I know your turn-on’s.  Well, most of them.  When we’re in bed, I love being able to bring you pleasure, to feel as though our minds are joined like our bodies, all without saying a word.

You don’t let me finish my thoughts when talking.  If forces me to practice patience, to try to juggle ideas in my head and not lose them.  At work, I’ve been told don’t let others finish their thoughts.  I’ve tried to be better about it, and the practice is good for me.

You push me, challenge me, support me.  You agree to all sorts of things I would never have imagined.

When you get angry you get self-righteous.  You used to clam up and refuse to talk to me, too.  I bet you don’t remember those days very well.  And even though you get self-righteous, I know you always come back around.  And I’m OK with that.

You are changing the game on me.  For better, and for worse.  I hope mostly for better.

Christi, Somewhat Objectively

Dark wavy brown hair.  Green eyes.  Smooth skin.  Soft lips, and a smile that lights up a room.  Nice curves, perfectly sized B-cup breasts, and curves just right to grab and pull her in.

Average height, below average weight, and above average intellect.  Looks good in leggings, great in jeans, hot in a skirt and boots, and unbelievable in a dress and heels.  Knows what she wants.  Gets what she wants.