Thereâ€™s this guy I know. Iâ€™m not going to give you too many details. Suffice it to say, you probably donâ€™t know him.
Thereâ€™s this guy I know, but I donâ€™t know him that well. Iâ€™ve known him awhile now, but heâ€™s always been at the fringes. Heâ€™s a guy, which is problematic for me. Heâ€™s a guy, so I donâ€™t know him that well. This is not a statement about him, only about me and how Iâ€™ve always relegated guys to the fringes.
Thereâ€™s this guy I know. Heâ€™s always interested me. Because heâ€™s a guy, Iâ€™ve never given him much mental space. Since heâ€™s a guy, Iâ€™ve mostly ignored him.
Iâ€™ve mostly ignored him for several reasons: One, guys scare me. Thatâ€™s a long-established fact. Two, Iâ€™m married. My definition of marriage has long excluded giving mental space to men other than my husband. Iâ€™ve never bothered making friends with guys. Three, heâ€™s married too, off-limits in my world. So Iâ€™ve mostly ignored him.
Thereâ€™s this guy I know. Iâ€™ve observed from afar that he is good looking, hot even. Iâ€™ve observed that he is funny and friendly. Very friendly. Iâ€™ve observed that he is a great husband, a great dad. Iâ€™ve observed all this without comment, without action. Iâ€™ve just noticed it.
Years ago, there was an incident. This was a long time ago, before this guy became a dad, long before I became a mom, before I was even married, even before I began to actively relegate interesting people to the fringes. Iâ€™m not going to give you too many details.
There was a large celebration. Something horrible happened to me and I was crying, in public. This was a celebration, so all of my friends were there. My real friends, the ones I donâ€™t ignore, donâ€™t relegate. All my friends saw what happened, they saw me crying. They stood there, shocked, unmoving. All of them just stared at me, except for this guy I know. This guy I know, he didnâ€™t say anything, but he did hug me.
There was this one time that this guy I know hugged me. I didnâ€™t know him that well; I still donâ€™t.
Sometimes a lot of knowing happens in one hug.
Thereâ€™s this guy I know.